6months. finally reached the mark. owells, there's still a long way to go. :D








i wish things btwn us cld be settled with just a few words.
but i know, equally like you do,
tht everything aint just so simple.
my world's spinning because of you.
and i wish i know how to stop all this mess.

wow. havent been blogging for a really long time alr ehh. hah. but yeah, commons finally ended ytd. hooray ! torturous week. lol. actually, not really lah. i cant imagine Os. /: but yups, praise to the Almighty Lord for giving me the strength to overcome all. i <333 my Saviour ! :D:D



so yeah. took all the tests except for chem&SS. took an MC. apparently there were like 5 ppl missing for class lah. tell me foursix rocks. :D hahahaha. but then heard the paper was quite alright. but i doubt i can do it. LOL. /:

ytd had early dismissal also. at 12pm. shuang ! lol. geog paper which was the last one finished at like 113o. and the next one period was malay lah. i think 3/4 of the class just left the school compound lah. lol. abit meaningless to go. hahaha. and everyone was just saying that we should walk veryveryvery slowly to the gate so time would be up. lol. dumbb. stayed around to wait for anqi&xueen. yeah. then wahtuck asked me to go see his baby photos. lol. very cute lah, looked so like him. duh. lol. then met up with the two girls and we didnt know where to head to. so we just walked to central. decided to go kboxing lo. yeah. reached at 1 ? then sang till 5 and they gave us extended free hours till seven. all for 11 per head. quite cheap lah. and all three of us were like dead by 5 or smth. hahaha. ultra tiring. everyone was just lying on the sofa and holding the mike like it weighed a ton or smth. haha. but one hour later we were high agn lah. LOL. funny shit. hahaha. 7hours or pure madness.

after tht took 147 to tct. yeah. met up with mel to attend baptism service. quite a number of youth this time round.. dont know why but the feeling wasnt there. cldnt worship because cldnt settle with the youthnet. and we were saying tht we missed seeing aunties and uncles around. lol. but the Lord's presence was still there lah of course. :D

yeah. so thts pretty much bout the week ? haha.

spent the whole day reading angels&demons. finally finished it. blah.

just reached home. (:


hmms. claud's at my hse now. and she's taking a short nap. lol. i doubt she'll sleep later than half hour lah. lols.


anw, today was pretty fine. yups. mood lvl in the day was as usual O. i dont know lah. i've been really moodless recently. just very bothered and troubled by certain stuff. yeah. hmms. had some kinda conflicts with certain people, but we manage to solve it in the end. love love. :D

was almost late in the morning cos i woke up like at 64oam. and dad chiong-ed me to sch. aww. thanks daddy ! :D <33 ! haha. yups. then the moment i stepped into the parade sq the whole place was like so messy or smth. haha. everyone was just literally all over the place giving out valentines' day present lah. LOL. thanks a bunch to my LOVELY pwesident ! , my DARLING hwq, and FUNKY cas for the presents. yeahh. love ! haha. and ahdu was giving out ferror rocher ? lol. funny ass. hahaha. so yeah, went up to class and had the usual lessons lah. i cant rmber much abt the lessons ? but i think im like pretty dead at chem. i cant understand agn. ahhh. /:


turned a happy kid during chem though. sat with claudine and it was just the two of us or smth. so we cracked stupid jokes and did spastic actions since we cldnt understand any chemistry tht was going on. lols. /: yeah. and then jt and wanyi joined in so the 4 of us went totally mad lah. hahaha.


lunch went to look for the sec1s to give them the walkaton cards and thinking day patches with jiayi ! <33s hahaha. tht girl so rocks lah huh. hahaha.

nut kept disturbing me today. mad. hahaha. =p


after school went cabbed to jp with claud while dropping mich and eve along the way. yeah. walked ard the place. haha. think this's the first v-day im spending with her alone. LOL. so cool huh. hahahaha. so we lunched at ljs. and we had a long talk. finally. was struggling if i shld start on the topic but i finally did. and im pretty glad we had tht talk. yeah, even though u prob wont read this but yeah, i'll be with you girl. no matter wht u face u have Him and me. :D i'll be waiting, dont worry. im sure u'll receive alot from Him if u put ur faith with Him. loves. :D


yeah. then pei-ed her buy her earrings and we wanted to go library cos i wanted to borrow some books. in the end realise tht jurong west lib is no longer at jp ! omg. so sad. ))): BAHHH. so xia sway somemore. go until 4th lvl alr then some guy in the lift told us its gone le. /: hahaha.

umm. then took bus back to my hse lo. yeahh. spsed to be doing work but she's sleeping so i shall use the comp in the meantime.

I WONDER WHERE IS MY BROTHER. its exceptionally weird NOT to see him at home esp at this time ok. OMG. must be paktor-ing somewhr. tsktsk. LOL.

today was quite a day of mixed feelings.

was really down in the morning and i guess i opened my mouth like less than 2otimes or smth until lunch whn i finally started interacting. hah. think i was quite attitude tdy lah huh. was just diao-ing everything or smth. or maybe im just so sick&tired of whts going on.

but yeah, opened up after lunch and started like smiling or smth. ugh. wtever lah huh. maths test was surprisingly okay. lol. but i think i got quite of number of careless mistakes tht might make me flunk. owells, i shall leave things in His hands. :D FOF ! haha.

oh, happy cos i finally got my neeon frm anjo ! whee. hahaha.

after school waited for eewen outside the guides room. and some sec1 called qianying or smth. she pangseh-ed me. )): haha. spsed to pass me smth but in the end i dont know why she didnt come down. ah. haha. nvm, shall forgive her. hahaha. so bull. /: crapped with some np-ians. then eewen finally came. went to hand in some guides admin stuff to the tchers and we cabbed down to guides hq agn. thats like the donno how many times we are there alr this year lah. siann. got our walkaton cards & thinking day patches. gosh, and she like didnt even bother telling us tht we have to collect it lah. so wht, if we didnt realise we hve to make another trip down ? wth. -shakes head-

went to j8 to lunch at pastamania. crapped like madness there. hahaa. i think we were xiasway-ing alot lahh. hahahaha. madness. then we went to search for yincheong present cos she wanted to get him one or smth. yups. walked and talked rubbish. hahaha. i realised we always misbehave ourselves whn we are tgt or smth. aye aye. must be the chemical reactions btwn us. LOL. wtever. left ard 5pm and we went on our seperate wayys. yups.

reached mel's hse ard 6 ? yeah. talked to her quite a bit. then had my tuition there with cousin william at 7. omg. i think he's like ultra pro or smth. really got tcher's attitude lah. the whole atmosphere's like really tense or smth. haha. but he's smart lah. and i finally cleared wtever doubts i had for differentiation. yippe ! :D:D heard he's gna an official tcher after his attachment. woahh. lol.

left ard 83o. took 198 home. yupps.

and i think pineapples are cuter than nuts or smth. lol. so random. /:

oh, qn of the day. how do u address ur cousin's kids ? eewen says they are called ur nieces and nephews, but i beg to differ. haha. i have no idea either but i decided tht they shall be called wenbings or smth. ( inside joke ) hahaha. wtever.

oh right, happy valentines day ppl. :D

im pretty deadd.



i have amaths test tmr. and out of 3 topics, i know nuts abt one, just learnt half of one and have utterly no confidence in the last.


UGHH.


im sosososo deadd.


i hope tmr will be a good day or smth. )):


oh right, im buying anjo's zen neeon. since tht lucky girl got her ipod video alr. ahhh. LOL. but yeah, i just need smth tht has bigger capacity than my current mp3. so yes, im a happy girl. :D:D

too many things running through, i cant differentiate wht shld be done.

HELLO. ((:

im at my cuz's hse now at pasir ris. yays. u hardly see me blogging at this hour on a SUNDAY ok. hahahaha. yays. im high. lol. my two cuz beside me are prob thinking im mad. lalalala. :D:D


owells. so these few days has been quite a whirl. LOL. fri was the release of results for Os. got bck for our chinese and yes, im pretty happy for my a2. lalaa. even though more than half of 4o6 got a1s ? lol. but yes, my ultimate aim is to get to nyp nursing so yeah. anything lah. LOL. hmms. heard the ex sec4s didnt do really well for the Os and mrfoo was rather unhappy. he scolded us too huh. made us type write a chinese compo of free topic and give it to him on wed. liew. siann. /:


after sch went claud's hse anw. with jingting. clayton's friends came over also so its the girls vs the boys. LOL. anw, claud and jt were hyperventilating over tht korean show, my name is kim sam soon or smth. LOL. and i fell asleep watching it. LOL. went off first at six to meet mel and the rest to go to simei's auntie house. had worships and prayers and then we left. went to clem to have dinner. yups. dad came over to pick after tht.

so ytd was spent at my cuz hse. lol. had a movie marathon like madness. caught the descent, monster in law, wedding crashers (LIKE OMG, ITS ULTRA NICE. HAHA. ) and i think a lil of war of the worlds. quite mad huh. but fun lah. the seow family gambled until 7am frm the afternoon i think. total madness. WATEVER.

i need to log off badly now. im gna be late for svc. bye world.

ugh. im half dead as im typing this. yeah. u got it, im down with some sickness agn. arghhh.

i think wednesdays are like jinxed or smth. i always always fall sick on wednesdays. /: was down with cold and flu last night and was aching all over all smth. so this morning cldnt wake up and slept all the way till 8 ? uhuh. decided to go opposite clinic and see doctor. got a 2days mc frm him and i dont even know why i went back to school during recess. /: lol. wanted to take the geog test which i thought was after recess, only to see mschan the moment i reach school and realised tht it was over alr. ): bahh. so anw, mschan asked me to meet her after school and she'll pass me the test. hah. think the tchers has some lao yu sheng thing. haha. weirddd.

so went to look for claud and co. at the canteen. think alot of ppl rather surprised to see me around. haaa. like some appearing act like tht. lol. didnt eat cos no appetite. but drank milo. lala. and then went bck to class. ate medicine and i started stoning cos of the drowsiness effect. surprisingly i survived through history lah. think this is the first 2-periods history im actually present for abt a month ? LOL. /: actually today marks the one month. told u weds are jinxed. lol.

after tht was bio. did practical and played with our eye. so cool leh. hahaha. maths was the last periods and yeah, i really stoned alr. haha.

after school chionged to staff room to get the paper. and went to lift lobby to do it. im so proud of myself. i nvr cheat ok, even though got no supervision. LOL. weijie disturbed me though. hahaha. still happily ask whether i wanna eat nots. wahlao. lol. and mrsee's boys talk very loud mans. haha. finished the paper earlier than the time given so i just left the paper in her pigeon hole and went to look for eewen. yeah. didnt change into half u cos no time alr. found them and cont the enrollment courses for sec1s. i think they are very cute, but very shy also. LOL.

after teaching then combined all lvls to teach songs in preparation for thinking day. yups. spsed to have footdrill after tht but eewen and me were too pissed to do anything lah. so we did the "usual" to the sec3s and seriously lah, i dont see any pt anymore in talking any sense to them. its like the same things are repeated every week by the same people to the same people and yet, there isnt any much improvement. so i guess me and eewen aint gna bother bout them anymore if they wanna stay like this. its really sick lah. and after tht session my voice went downhill lah. sighhs.

finally ate smth after guides. eewen's mum sent me home agn. or rather to lakeside mrt lah. yups. so thanks eh. :D then took bus home and i fell asleep the moment i finished bathing.

then agn, the sleep doesnt seem to help anything lah. i feel worse now. thts why im half dead. and im in a super bad mood cos smth annoying happened just now so yeah, to anyone who is feeling the wrath of me, im sorry huh. /:

i shall stop here. fullstop.

i got a sudden urge to come back. dang dang dang.


i hate chinese. hah. have the test tmr and great, frm start of sch till now, i think i opened my book less than 3times. /: so imagine wht's gna happen tmr ! whee. but heng tmr no ciyu. but there's zaoju ! and i know nuts abt wht im supposed to study. aiyah, heck. tmr den borror the shou ce lah. UGHHHHHH. i shall dedicate the night to geog and thts all. byebye chinese ! :D


im so nonsensical nowadays. must be due to the peers around me. hah ! so, i shall try to blog something tht makes sense. yups.







i know im supposed to let go but i dont know how to. things aint as fine as i think, afterall. yes Lord, i know i must let go of things so tht i can receive Your plans for me... but i guess wht mel said the other day makes a whole lot of sense ? its true lah, and i dont even know whn she started seeing the inner part of me tht i thought i had concealed up alr. sighs. tough girl on the outside but a weak one inside ? guess its true. since frm the past, i've always told myself tht i needed to build this 'wall' to protect me frm other hurts and pains. and im afraid of accepting things because im afraid tht someday these things might come in time to hurt me. i dont wanna face the pain and hurts of life so whnever smth happens, i put on this 'face' tht im fine and strong and tht it doesnt affect me. but of cos, deep inside, there is so much pain tht i've been trying to numb myself. call me egostic but yes i do agree, i have a big pride. times whn things happen, i wish i cld gather the courage to speak out and ask but of couse, it just boils down to the P word. besides, i've always thought i created an image for myself tht im always nonchalent abt things but yes, i do care and get affected. everyone does right ? im not referring to any matter or issue but i guess mel's word really hit me hard tht day. its like being shown the heart and emotions of urself and u actually get a shock because u nvr thought how serious things were actually in. yeah, i guess the past has really been traumatic for me but somehow, i've alr hidden them so deep in me tht i considered it forgotten. which is also why things are so difficult for the Lord to work in me, to deliver me. because i always think tht im fine and okay. when in fact, im not in the least alright.

right now, i feel pity for myself. so much so for all the 'protection' i've built around me. which only in turn led to me not having confidence in everything. everything tht i do, i always wished for the least. be it for tests or anything. as long as i get the min things, im satisfied. looking at others who always wished of reaching the sky, i wonder how they manage to get the confidence frm. but i've realised i need not wish for the stars only, cos i can wish for the sky. i need to open up i guess, i need to stop being so... afraid. cos now with Lord, He'll aid me in things tht i do and i need to have faith in him i guess. the past has gone and we must let go and forget, and to look forward to accomplish His' plans. i need to put down my pride so tht i can achieve greater things for the Lord. yeah, mel's right. the process will defintely hurt alot because i need to let God cleanse the things i've done, and i need to face the hard facts. and of cos, they say the life of a christian is full of ups and downs. im willing to do everything for God of course, but there's far more things i've yet to learn. and yes, praise Lord for all the nice people He have put in my life. yeah, setbacks are coming in at this time, devil's gna manipulate me and deceive me at this low point but NO, i will stand strong. i will not bow down to the devil. yes, i will go strong.

may Your strength be with me and the difficulties strengthen me more.

hello.

im so sick of tests. i think im going nuts. but i wont, cos i must be FOF. yeah, i will. :D:D


i finally got my hair cut ytd. with claud and mich. yay. we finally got michelletoh to snip her hair off ! hoho. after like wht, a year ? tsktsk. but she really looks pretty now ! of cos, she has always been lah. but much more now. HAHA ! i think she suits short hair styles. lalalaa. :D:D


this entry is pretty random. but i dnt know wht to blog anymore. bahh.

OH. major upset of the week ? pool lost to chel. wtever. so bull. i think ARJEN ROBBEN IS A *^$)^&#%^$q$(#q*$%*#q)%& !!! cheater. !!! yeah. but i still love my pool. :D:D

RUBBISH ENTRY. garhh.

i got scammed.

ughh. and im really pissed over it. ARGH. liars !






svc was good. pastor mak spoke. great msg. i needed tht sermon, it was like as if, God was telling me to do wht i need to do since a long time ago. yes, i'll obey You..
holy spirit was really strong too. had lord's supper. renewed and repented. my LORD reigns. :D:D






chem test tmr. the rest of the weeks are full of tests. i must go on strong, with His' strength.

ughh.

i dont know wht to say lah.

maybe ur heart isnt in it.

cos im sick and tired of asking all the time.

FREAK.

lalalalala.

im proud of myself ! i studied today. hahaha. 4hours ok. LOL. after hours of procrastinating. /: LOL.

yups. anw, tdy was spsed to meet up with the girls for some study session and steamboat. but in the end alot of not free and yeah, plan aborted. )): anqi and me were so disappointed. aww. nvm, nxt week we chiong ! :D:D haha. so basically, today was nth much lah. spent time watching tv and studying lo. parents went to aunt's hse so me and bro were alone. lalala.

oh right. i slept for 12 hours ytd. hah ! i dozed off unwittingly at 9.3o or smth and i woke up this morning at 93oam. wahh. good rest mans. LOL. :D:D

aiyah. dont know wht to blog alr. PICTURES PICTURES ! :D:D:D:D:D

and of cos, with his dad lah. :D:D

oh, at cherry's party. camwhore ! LOL.

and, at the reunion dinner with the darlings ! <33>

amanda !

me prong amanda ! xD

FIREWORKS ! :D

OKAY. thats it. im very tired alr. LOL. took me quite some time just to upload. ughh. TILL THEN ! :D

hmms. updating because jarrel is chui-ing me. -.- dang `

went back to school tdy. yups. wahh. i think 4o6 is pretty cool lah. everyday day got people absent one leh. today was like 6 people nt around ? 0.o hahaha. and ytd was seven. cool shit lah. hahaha. tchers cldnt teach much cos alot of them not around. -claps. hahahaha. mschan let us off to do wshts. quite a miracle lah. heh. mdmnoridah also. asked us to finish up our EL compre. hengg ah. she nvr scold, otherwise i think im so dead man. -whew.

MC for PE lah. they ran and played games. so i think im running tmr. aww. so sian. rawr.

oh yeah. got back our SS test result alr. Thank God ! im quite satisfied. heh. i got a sticker frm laurakhoo leh ! hahaha. strawberry somemore. so cuteee. :D:D hahaha. madness.


aye. nth much to blog bout tdy leh. hmms.

OH. assembly was a repetition. had the SAF band to play for us agn. heard before last yr i think ? haha. claud and i agree tht the drummer ( justin ? ) has veryveryvery weird expressions. :\ hahaha. abit act cute also lah. lol. but they played 'i love rock n roll ' pretty well. nice. :D AND I THINK CHELSEA IS SOSOSOSO COOL LAH. gosh. my idol ! :D:D hahaha.


almost dozed off during chinese. thanks to mr erh who kept throwing paper at me. -.- LOL.

stayed bck after school with eewen, and anqi&co. yups. planned the lessons for tmr meeting. ahhh. getting stressed up over the whole thing alr lah. haii. i dont even know if all these efforts will even pay off in the first place. sighs. maybe it isnt even worth it lah. but owells, just to be able to give the tchers a response lah. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i really hope tmr's meeting goes well. -crosses fingers-

was spsed to meet prong at lido for fearless movie ! got free tickets man. ughh. cldnt make it cos of the planning thing. SHUCKS. so sorry ! i promise i'll make it up somehow. (:

anw. ytd skipped sch lah. wasnt feeling alright AGAIN and didnt felt like going. bai nian until very tired. lols. so mum allowed me to stay home ! ( yay ! ) haha. i love my mama ! :D:D lol. dad came home early or smth. half day i think. so miracle. rare sight mans. hahaha. so he brought me and bro to jp. whee. had lunch there. then we decided to watch I Not Stupid 2 ! yays ! called anqi and xueen and they came over to meet us. bro called 2 of his friends cos they were watching also. so bought tickets. sat with dad anqi and xueen. OMG. THE SHOW SO FREAKING TOUCHING OK. i cried like hell. dad was worse, he cried almost the whole show. hohohoho ! he was blaming me after tht lah. say wht new year why bring him go watch sad show. LOL. but its very very very nice ! :D:D JOSHUA ANG IS SOSOSOSO SHUAI LAH. i almost melted. haha ! and shawn lee has become a shuai ge also. not bad huh. haha. but i think the ashley boy ( the brother of shawn in the show ) very very good. as in his acting. and so touching lah ! hahaha. the teenagers lingo somemore. SO LAME. COOL MAN. WATEVER ! hahaha. i laughed like mad lah, seriously. haha. PEOPLE MUST WATCH OK ! :D:D

after tht sent bro home. then went to pick mum up. and we went to the riverboat thing at chinatown. so crowded lah. I FINALLY SAW MY PRETTAYE FIREWORKS ! wheee ! hahaha. but it wasnt very pretty. okok only lah. LOL. im contridicting. watever ! lol. took a lot of pictures but i'll upload some other time lah. haha.

so yups. wht an exciting day. :D

oh. ytd matches are super funny. arsenal lost 2-3 to west ham . ( !!!! ) they shld just go die lah seriously. i dont know wth they are doing leh. shucks. im starting to worry if they can get into top4 now. hmms. anw, i digress. so, man utd lost 4-3 also, to blackburn. tht, i dont care. hohoho ! liverpool draw. chelsea also draw. all the scores are so similar lah. so cute. hahaha. but i really wished alonso didnt score tht own goal. ): bahhhh ! lucky i didnt watch, otherwise i'd say byebye to my tv alr. heh.

aiyah. hand pain alr. shall stop here. BYE.

OH, I WANNA WATCH REAL !!!!!!!! its out alr leh. but jiafu says in cathay cinemas only. ): I WANT TO WATCH LAH. anyone ? :D:D