for you.

haishh. i darnoe what to say bahhs. darnoe how to react also. -shrugs. the end. guess i`ll really need a lot of time to get through this. yeahhs. i know i need to look on the brighter side. that things will be fine after a while. and that things will go back to normal. i darnoe. i hope it will though.

sighs. i guess its gonna be hard to get through this part of life bahs. yeahs. i know i`ll be fine after i get through it, but i darnoe how to. i know i need to let go and i have to let go. but some part of me is just so reluctant to let go. sighs. though its no point for me to hold on, i still cant let go bahhs. life will be so different. i dont think my life can go back to the past. hao xiang huii dao guo qqu. sighh. without you, things seems to be so different. every thing i look at seems to bring back lots of memories. places that i want to visit, i dont have to courage to do so. everytime i see all these, the memories just keep flooding back and tears starts flowing. im sorry. i dont want to cry anymore too, my eyes hurts. my heart hurts more. but i just cant control myself. i dont know. all the consolations i tried to give myself ytd just became crap today. movies wont be as interesting without you. libraries wont be the same without you. all the places all the things we did, its never gonna be the same. it wont change and wont go back in time. i know that i will try my best to accept it. but right now, i just cant do so? sorry. sighs. i dont understand how come this time round the impact is so great on me. i used to be able to fangxia easy in the past. but i dont know why for you, it just hurts. i guess its because when i`ve really put in all my heart and soul bahs. and all the hopes. all the promises u made to me, all the sweet nothings u told me. nothing was going to stay that way i guess.

gosh. i really really really need to get over this soon. cos i still want to be your friend. cos i dont want to lose that bond we had since day1 when we met. i want to cont the bond and be your friend. it will be awkward for now, but i hope that as time goes by, while it heals the wounds, it will be able to repair our friendship. i know we cant go back to like in the past, but i guess if i could just stay by your side as a friend, and being able to witness your happiness with others, im satisfied le. thanks for all the memories you have given. friendship or love, i really enjoyed and felt happy. i guess the feelings you gave me was very different from how i ever felt bahs. thats why im still so reluctant to let it go. i need time. i dont know how you feel though. u seem to be able to move on rather easy. but then agn, i guess i wouldnt want to see you sad too. sighs. i darnoe. its really contridicting and frustrating. to be wanting to be at your side, but knowing that you would be better off finding your true happiness. its frustrating and sad to be missing you and not being able to be like before. it hurts to see you and so near, yet so far.

i learnt a lot through this bahh. thanks for everything. i really hope time will wash away all the wounds and heal them all. all the precious memories, i`ll keep them close to me. i wont be able to take down the necklace so fast, but when i do, it`ll be the time when i`ve really let you go. yeahs. i still love you and the fact hurts. alot. but it wont change things. so i guess we`ll have to just keep moving on in life and salvage whats left. thats how things will be. i`ll have to get used to not having you by my side somehow i guess.

special thanks to ppl like ,
claudine . christina . seowli . cherrylene . eewen . hannbin . yanjia . michelle . elaine . adeline . jiafu . darren . hanzhongg . and those that gave me the support and concern when i needed you guys the most. thanks a lot. ((:

i`ll get through it somehow bahhs. yeahh. its just gonna depend on time thats all. sighhh.