why cant you just let everything rest ? why cant u just think simply and not make things so complicated ? why do u have to be so suspicious of everything ? yeah, i know he has a record of the past but im sure that this time round its just nothing. i wish u would stop. stop being suspicious. simply because i dont like being stuck in the middle. in fact, i hate it. i dont like awkward situations. never did and never would. i dont want to be back in jan2004. i want everything to just stay like this. i want to see you smile, i want to see him smile. i dont want all of this to fall apart. not at this time because i dont think i will be able to handle it. i dont want to see the two of you fall apart because u know i love you both. alot. because u all mean so much to me that i cant bear the stress and not collapse. i cant do it, so pls. stop all this while you can. stop it before it brews into smth we all cant handle with.

simply because, i cant and i dont want to.





oh Lord, pls help me. Give me the strength to hold on with you, give me your strength because i know i wont be able to do it myself. Be with me God, because i need You so.