I cant do it. I dont think anyone of us can. If you really do so, I swear we wouldnt be able to forgive ourselves. Oh fuck oh fuck. Oh God, tell us what to do. I cant take it. And I cant imagine the suffering you're going through when I cant even take mine. I dont know what to say. I dont know what I should offer you when I hear you breakdown, when I hear you sob and complain. I feel so loss and helpless when your questions of " Tell me what to do, Tell me what we can do" keeps ringing in my mind. All I can do is to just offer you a mere shoulder to cry on, to lend on, all I can is just silently support you which I know neither of these can help to make you feel better. Cause I dont even feel it. Oh boy. I wish I could tell you to not hear them but follow your heart. I know how much you want it, I want it too. But we both aint sure of the path ahead and I dont know if we can survive. If only we could have their support, I'm sure everything will be so much easier. Yet we both know its never gonna be that way because all the while, they have always been so judgemental and hard on people, especially us.
Damn. I really have NO idea. Its definitely easier to go along with them because that way, we face no obstacles and no opposition. But we will never be able to let it go, and the last thing I want for you is to slip into depression. You cant because I wont survive. I'm telling you now, that I WONT and I CANT. And yes, Im afraid I'll do so before you do but I know I cant bec I wanna be there for you, still. So please, hang on. Just for us all.


My tears run down like razorblades ;

Its shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart.

))))))))))))))))))))))))):

No, Im not fucking okay.

Labels: (sorry for the profanities)